the sensation of life
July 2018: I go with family to the observatory at Herstmonceux. We listen to a talk about the telescopes. We are shown pictures of starry skies from when the telescopes were operational. One photograph has a patch of dark sky. Or so it seems. More recently, the story goes, the Hubble space telescope was trained … Continue reading Molecular loneliness, molecular belonging
Every day I go to my chair and I sit in the early morning light or dark. I set down my glass of water. I look into Your face. I’m pretty consistent about this. I get anxious if it is put off or I miss the appointment. Every day I struggle.I come with feelings of … Continue reading Are we there yet?
I've been through the desert on a horse with no nameIt felt good to be out of the rainIn the desert you can remember your name‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no painAmerica, A Horse With No Name (Todd Terje edit) Newberry Springs, CA I went to the desert. It was not … Continue reading Desert
I was given a lesson the other night. I woke up after a few hours of sleep. I went to the toilet, and then lay in bed worried that I would not be able to go back to sleep, fearful of being awake in the empty dark. I don’t usually notice this feeling. I listen … Continue reading To care and not to care
A couple of years ago I wrote this blessing. It garnered significantly more interest than anything else I have written here. Strictly speaking, I didn't write it. It was given to me early one Monday morning, not long after Easter, and I wrote it down. The week before I had been away for a week’s … Continue reading Appledore
Dear One, I want you to enjoy your life. I want you to enjoy being alive. Life is full of beautiful and interesting things, and people, and places. There's far more here than you can ever possibly experience. Follow your curiosity. Let it be your guide. Do not worry about making mistakes.Do not worry about … Continue reading To you
September 1969. I remember the first morning I walked into my classroom, 1D, at my all-boys secondary school, and met Mr Starling, the form teacher. I was excited to find he was also my chemistry teacher – the synchronicity of it. Already in love with chemistry, it was the one thing I was longing to … Continue reading You
[This is the conclusion to Monday's post, Trust Me.] So, in what can we trust? Firstly what it is not: I cannot trust that I will find a parking space. I cannot trust that I will get that job I want. I cannot trust that my life will go well. I cannot trust that I … Continue reading Trust Me (conclusion)
The God of the Bible is ever an elusive one. The only guarantee of divine availability is God's own promise to be present to those who empty themselves in perfect trust.Belden Lane The Solace of Fierce Landscapes p.63 God, I have been thinking about trusting You, and what trust means, for some months, if not … Continue reading Trust Me
We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want.Tao Te Ching, Ch.11 (tr Stephen Mitchell) Newberry Springs, CA This is difficult to remember and to practise. When I sit still, even for a few minutes, listening to the sounds coming in through the window, feeling the air, … Continue reading The Miracle of Being Nothing