the sensation of life
I think that … that you work on the thing that's eating away at you. And I think that the performers that we feel are wrestling with something significant are the performers that hold … they hold our attention. Why couldn't people take their eyes of Brando? Something was always eating at him. I don't … Continue reading What’s eating away at you?
Prayer is subversive activity. It involves a more or less open act of defiance against any claim by the current regime… [As we pray,] slowly but surely, not culture, not family, not government, not job, not even the tyrannous self can stand against the quiet power and creative influence of God's sovereignty. Every natural tie … Continue reading Sermon to self
I am sitting in my bedroom where I have a little prayer corner. It is early on Sunday morning. The children are still asleep. Although it is cold outside, I have the window cracked open. I am swaddled in a dressing gown. I am listening to the sounds: a wood pigeon's coo, a crow's caw, … Continue reading Self-improvement; not.
12 December 2015 I want to write about emptiness, loneliness, meaningless, and the apprehension of death. This is what I feel at the moment. But what to say? How to write about these feelings? I might say that there are days when I struggle with these feelings. There are days when I wonder what my … Continue reading Emptiness
Whenever I walk in a London street, I'm ever so careful to watch my feet; And I keep in the squares, And the masses of bears, Who wait at the corners all ready to eat The sillies who tread on the lines of the street, Go back to they lairs, And I say to them, … Continue reading From resentment to recollection
In prayer, when I attend to this body, there are two things I do. I remember and invoke sensations of God's presence that I experienced in the past. (See Where to start?). Ignatius calls this repetition.I feel into this body and attend to the body's sensations. The body tells me what I need to know … Continue reading Repetition
(Once in a while, as I am writing my morning pages, along come thoughts that emerge fully formed. Here is this morning's gift.) Yesterday evening, coming home on the tube, I tried to practise kindness towards the other commuters. In the midst of all our jostling for position and selfish desire to claim a space … Continue reading Kindness is Your presence
I feel a little distant from You. I like to sit, to be quiet and still, to write, to ponder. I can do this without any memory of You, without reference to You. But I think You are inviting me into a deeper relationship. You are always present, so being fully present means being present … Continue reading The fear of God
I am at St Beuno's for a conference of Ignatian trainers. It is so quiet here. I can hear my ears sing! The idea of progress, of self-improvement, of 'sorting it all out' and 'getting there': these ideas have such a hold on me. They pull me forward in my chest and head. Influenced by … Continue reading On being less
It is a profound mistake to imagine that Christianity ever intended to dissipate the bewilderment and even the terror, the sense of our own nothingness, which come upon us when we think about the nature of things. It comes to intensify them. Without such sensations there is no religion. Many a man, brought up in … Continue reading Vastness, presence and meaning