the sensation of life
12 December 2015 I want to write about emptiness, loneliness, meaningless, and the apprehension of death. This is what I feel at the moment. But what to say? How to write about these feelings? I might say that there are days when I struggle with these feelings. There are days when I wonder what my … Continue reading Emptiness
The body holds deep sadness. The loss of people you love: those who have died; lovers and friends with whom you have fallen out, or lost touch; children who have moved away. The love you never received, that was not forthcoming; and the love you cannot give, your lack of capacity for loving. The loss … Continue reading Sadness
In prayer, when I attend to this body, there are two things I do. I remember and invoke sensations of God's presence that I experienced in the past. (See Where to start?). Ignatius calls this repetition.I feel into this body and attend to the body's sensations. The body tells me what I need to know … Continue reading Repetition
I had a salutary experience yesterday evening. I was leading Open Soul Space, a facilitated gathering for meditation, contemplative prayer, sharing and teaching that is offered monthly at the London Centre for Spiritual Direction. We had all just settled down for 20 minutes’ silence when a man started talking on his phone in the street … Continue reading Practising kindness
I am feeling better this morning. (I always feel better after a good shit! [It was suggested by an early reader that I shouldn't say this. This is probably good advice which I have chosen to ignore. Spirituality, if understood as the life though which we become more and more transparent to God, more than … Continue reading Meaning and purpose
A thought, a feeling, and a physical sensation are different manifestations of the one phenomenon in the matrix that is the human person. Unconscious and barely conscious thoughts can be traced in this body. Sometimes, listening in to the chatter in the barely conscious, I hear the whisper of unhelpful thoughts and attitudes through noticing … Continue reading Cultivation
Fact: The centre of gravity of this body is just below and behind the navel. Contention: This is where the centre of (whatever we mean by) 'the soul' is. Question: Why do you live at such a distance from your centre?
In meditative or contemplative practices, the advice on dealing with so-called 'distractions' is to come back either to your breath, or to a word, phrase or mantra. I want to write about attention to this body in contrast to, or in concert with, the breath or a word. I have just prayed. When I noticed … Continue reading Desire and this body
4. Prayer on retreat, July 2014 [Read parts I, II & III] Here I am again, looking for something exciting on the iPhone, doing everything I can to avoid prayer. It is addiction: anything to stop me coming home to myself, and the work of coming home to You. What am I doing? I am … Continue reading Evanescence (IV)
[Please read Part 1 first.] 2. Living in a Desert A hospital is parallel universe. Even as a member of staff it is possible to be admitted by the front doors and have an extended stay, being able to wash, have a haircut, buy food, enjoy café society, eat, and even sleep there – as … Continue reading Evanescence (II)