I am at St Beuno's for a conference of Ignatian trainers. It is so quiet here. I can hear my ears sing! The idea of progress, of self-improvement, of 'sorting it all out' and 'getting there': these ideas have such a hold on me. They pull me forward in my chest and head. Influenced by … Continue reading On being less
Author: Julian Maddock
Vastness, presence and meaning
It is a profound mistake to imagine that Christianity ever intended to dissipate the bewilderment and even the terror, the sense of our own nothingness, which come upon us when we think about the nature of things. It comes to intensify them. Without such sensations there is no religion. Many a man, brought up in … Continue reading Vastness, presence and meaning
Meaning and purpose
I am feeling better this morning. (I always feel better after a good shit! [It was suggested by an early reader that I shouldn't say this. This is probably good advice which I have chosen to ignore. Spirituality, if understood as the life though which we become more and more transparent to God, more than … Continue reading Meaning and purpose
Cultivation
A thought, a feeling, and a physical sensation are different manifestations of the one phenomenon in the matrix that is the human person. Unconscious and barely conscious thoughts can be traced in this body. Sometimes, listening in to the chatter in the barely conscious, I hear the whisper of unhelpful thoughts and attitudes through noticing … Continue reading Cultivation
The Other 90%
Robert Cooper, author of The Other 90%, says that we shouldn't think of intelligence as happening only in the brain in our skulls. He talks of the "heart" brain and the "gut" brain. Whenever we have a direct experience, he says, it does not go directly to the brain in our heads. The first place … Continue reading The Other 90%
The Centre
Fact: The centre of gravity of this body is just below and behind the navel. Contention: This is where the centre of (whatever we mean by) 'the soul' is. Question: Why do you live at such a distance from your centre?
Prayer in a time of grief
My father died on Easter Sunday 2010. Six months later my long-term relationship hit the buffers. I found myself in a car-crash of intense sadness and anxiety with few airbags to cushion to blows. The doctor wrote me a few sick notes. I took time off work. I went back to work. I found I … Continue reading Prayer in a time of grief
The feeling of being yourself, part 3
See part 1 and part 2. Experience is nothing other than what we decide to attend to, so the quality of experience depends on the quality of attention. … We all yearn for renewal but imagine that it may be found only in novelty – a new place, a new lover, a new job. More … Continue reading The feeling of being yourself, part 3
The feeling of being yourself, part 2
See part 1. What is so disturbing about being fully present? To be present is to accept yourself fully: your own way of being; your own way of doing: this very particularity and peculiarity in a profound and all-embracing way: this life, this self, this body, this moment: to be God having this experience as … Continue reading The feeling of being yourself, part 2
The feeling of being yourself, part 1
Sartre defined not potential but finitude as the essence of freedom: ‘To be finite … is to choose oneself . . . to make known to oneself what one is by projecting oneself toward one possible to the exclusion of others. The very act of freedom is therefore the assumption and creation of finitude.’ Jean-Paul … Continue reading The feeling of being yourself, part 1