the sensation of life
Every day I write 750 words, sometimes more, never less, though on some days I can’t be bothered to engage and I have been known to cheat by typing the same words over and again. Writing requires me to dig deeper into myself, which also requires (and is the same as) connecting with You. I … Continue reading Demands
People are frequently frightened to give themselves into relationship with You. What will You require? But it seems to me You ask so little. It is the intimacy of this littleness that so unsettles me. Rain on the Thames (photo by Julian Maddock)
I am so distant from the hope of myself,in which I have goodness, and discernment…Mary Oliver, When I am among the trees Forgiveness is not a contract. We do not forgive because someone has said sorry or because reparation has been exacted. The Crucifixion is not a cosmic trade-off. God does not need to forgive … Continue reading For
There were stories this week in the Independent and the Guardian about 130 imams and Muslim religious leaders who have refused to perform funeral prayers for the London Bridge and Borough Market attackers – "a ritual normally performed for every Muslim regardless of their actions". I understand the impulse of this and the political expediency, … Continue reading Mercy
Can I hope that I am now in a new area, traveling more securely, and that my commitment to the hermit life will be something more than a comic gesture? Is the whole thing just a fantastic private comedy? I question myself and my whole life very seriously. The real absurdity of it all! The … Continue reading Clinging to the Invisible God
Caught up in a mass of abstractions, our attention hypnotised by a host of human-made technologies that only reflect us back to ourselves, it is all too easy for us to forget our carnal inherence in a more-than-human matrix of sensations and sensibilities. Our bodies have formed themselves in delicate reciprocity with the manifold textures, … Continue reading The Discontents of Empire (III)
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and why do you labour for that which does not satisfy? Isaiah 55.2 In the recent months I have found myself working more, and praying and writing less. I have wondered at the reasons. Several occur to me: I'm anxious about money; I … Continue reading The Discontents of Empire (I)
I think that … that you work on the thing that's eating away at you. And I think that the performers that we feel are wrestling with something significant are the performers that hold … they hold our attention. Why couldn't people take their eyes of Brando? Something was always eating at him. I don't … Continue reading What’s eating away at you?
Real conversion is centred on God: it results from a deeper turning towards Him rather than a closer inspection of ourselves. … Conversion, at its root, is not the action performed but the source of that action, the experience of being loved.Dyckman & Carroll, Inviting the Mystic, Supporting the Prophet, 9 I am faced with … Continue reading Only
Prayer is subversive activity. It involves a more or less open act of defiance against any claim by the current regime… [As we pray,] slowly but surely, not culture, not family, not government, not job, not even the tyrannous self can stand against the quiet power and creative influence of God's sovereignty. Every natural tie … Continue reading Sermon to self