the sensation of life
Sunday morning: sitting, praying. I have taken to moving my chair to face the window so I look out on the simple morning light. I tend to alternate between journaling and a still and silent awareness of being this body. I say ‘praying’ but really I am pondering what I want to do today: what … Continue reading Coterminous
A few years ago I was at a day conference with Silence in the City. It was a hot summer’s day. I was due to meet up with a couple of people later. Towards the end of the talk, both people sent texts begging off because of the heat. I was irritated. I do not … Continue reading Distraction
Then sigh not so, but let them go,And be you blithe and bonny,Converting all your sounds of woeInto hey nonny, nonny.Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing People will often say that they can't pray. When asked they will say that they are unable to make their minds still or empty of thoughts. Somehow they have acquired … Continue reading Sigh no more
The night is terrifying. In the dark and the solitude, in the chasm between the lighted bustle of the days, everything drops away and disappears in the depths. No identity left, given, assumed, or invented. No work. No significance. No ambition. No façade. Only being is left: this small, naked, freshly-minted mite of the Universe. … Continue reading The naked night
12 December 2015 I want to write about emptiness, loneliness, meaningless, and the apprehension of death. This is what I feel at the moment. But what to say? How to write about these feelings? I might say that there are days when I struggle with these feelings. There are days when I wonder what my … Continue reading Emptiness
I feel a little distant from You. I like to sit, to be quiet and still, to write, to ponder. I can do this without any memory of You, without reference to You. But I think You are inviting me into a deeper relationship. You are always present, so being fully present means being present … Continue reading The fear of God
When engaging in contemplative prayer à la Keating or Main, or when meditating, the direction given is to eschew thoughts. Thinking happens. You cannot avoid, stop or squash it. Notice thoughts as they arise and let them go. It's ok, it's normal, it's what the mind does, it is easy to get hooked, but don't … Continue reading Desk-clearing
(repeated St Anselm’s, Kennington, 17 March 2013) Making a good space My daughters can create chaos on the living room carpet, with dressing-up clothes strewn, books and magazines they have finished reading, drawings and pencils, and various animal soft-toys they have been making up stories about and role-playing with, sweet-wrappers and bits of cut-up paper. … Continue reading Sermon: St Peter’s, Vauxhall