the sensation of life
I was lost – tired, overwhelmed, and angry. A wise woman once said to me that underneath anger is hurt or fear. I felt hurt. And frightened. I s(k)ulk through the night. In the early morning I leave resentment on the other side of the door. I find a way back to myself. I become my … Continue reading Finding depth
I've been through the desert on a horse with no nameIt felt good to be out of the rainIn the desert you can remember your name‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no painAmerica, A Horse With No Name (Todd Terje edit) Newberry Springs, CA I went to the desert. It was not … Continue reading Desert
Winning and losing doesn’t matter. It’s about making something beautiful and surprising. So says the character, Kimi Muroyama, in the Australian film, Paper Planes, which I have watched a couple of times with my younger daughter, Esther. The film is about an international competition to see who can make a paper plane fly the furthest. … Continue reading Beautiful and surprising
It is Saturday morning. There is nothing I have to do – or nothing urgent. I sit at the open window in my pyjamas with the sunshine, the trees now in full leaf, the early morning birdsong, the air touching my face. This is what I want to do. This is how I want life … Continue reading The Kingdom of Heaven
A couple of years ago I wrote this blessing. It garnered significantly more interest than anything else I have written here. Strictly speaking, I didn't write it. It was given to me early one Monday morning, not long after Easter, and I wrote it down. The week before I had been away for a week’s … Continue reading Appledore
It may help to think that what [St Mark] does is to help us see events [of the Passion] strictly from the perspective of the victim. When the victims of totalitarian violence and tyranny in our own age tell their stories, as many have, they sound very much like this. Victims typically don’t really know … Continue reading The Discontents of Empire (IV)
Here is something I wrote in my journal nearly 17 years ago. At the time I was living in a large, Victorian, short-life house (council housing, unfit for council tenants, leased to a housing co-operative) close to the Brixton Road. I don’t think I’d change a word today. What troubles me is that I’ve been … Continue reading The Discontents of Empire (II)
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and why do you labour for that which does not satisfy? Isaiah 55.2 In the recent months I have found myself working more, and praying and writing less. I have wondered at the reasons. Several occur to me: I'm anxious about money; I … Continue reading The Discontents of Empire (I)
I think that … that you work on the thing that's eating away at you. And I think that the performers that we feel are wrestling with something significant are the performers that hold … they hold our attention. Why couldn't people take their eyes of Brando? Something was always eating at him. I don't … Continue reading What’s eating away at you?
The night is terrifying. In the dark and the solitude, in the chasm between the lighted bustle of the days, everything drops away and disappears in the depths. No identity left, given, assumed, or invented. No work. No significance. No ambition. No façade. Only being is left: this small, naked, freshly-minted mite of the Universe. … Continue reading The naked night