I am at St Beuno's for a conference of Ignatian trainers. It is so quiet here. I can hear my ears sing! The idea of progress, of self-improvement, of 'sorting it all out' and 'getting there': these ideas have such a hold on me. They pull me forward in my chest and head. Influenced by … Continue reading On being less
4. Prayer on retreat, July 2014 [Read parts I, II & III] Here I am again, looking for something exciting on the iPhone, doing everything I can to avoid prayer. It is addiction: anything to stop me coming home to myself, and the work of coming home to You. What am I doing? I am … Continue reading Evanescence (IV)
3. St Anthony's Pool [Read parts I and II] It is early morning, Summer 1991, the gardens of a college-turned-retreat house on the western edge of London. The Heathrow-bound air-traffic screams deafeningly low overhead, heading for touch-down. I am praying beside a goldfish pond. I know that if I am still and patient the fish … Continue reading Evanescence (III)
'So what is significant?' 'That today might be the last day of your life.' George Ivanovich laughed mockingly. 'But doesn't everyone know that?! Everyone knows that today could be the end of it all!' The man in the turban paused. 'Everyone knows it my friend. But not everyone feels it. Everyone knows it as a … Continue reading The last day of your life
Being in God's story is hard for humans because we can never know the meaning. The meaning is in the being, not the understanding. Everything you need is already given. Do not try to invent or create a life where you will feel really alive. Live.